Posted by Barely Knit Together on Aug 16, 2009 in
People Are Idiots
I know I just did a whole spiel on why I won’t become one of those product-reviewing mommy bloggers, but immediately afterward I got hit with some sweet propositions that I just couldn’t pass up. So for the next few weeks, while I get some real writing done, I will be posting reviews. I [...]
Tags: mommy blogger, review, shilling for product, the perfect beauty product
Facebook is convincing me that we are at the end of any possible advancement as a species.
Take the “We’re Related” application.
Essentially, you can add your relatives, who then add theirs, etc., so you can see exactly why that nephew of yours is a little off, what with his parents being second cousins and everything.
I once [...]
Tags: apocalypse, facebook, good old fashioned groin mauling, overpopulation, six degrees of separation
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Jul 31, 2009 in
People Are Idiots
I keep hearing this term “mommy blogger” bandied about lately, and it makes my breasts want to shrivel up and hide. Mommy. Blogger.
And probably many of the writers out there who blog and are moms kind of feel the same way – it sounds so vacuous, like the empty womb my super-sized children vacated.
But apparently, [...]
Tags: 1938 Media, BlogHer, Jessica Gottlieb, Loren Feldman, lynchburg, mommy bloggers, Motrin, selling your soul when you probably already have too much shit, swag, VA, Writing
I’ve heard it said that it takes a village to raise a child. This idea was popularized by Hillary Clinton when she named her world domination plan book after the idea, ostensibly an African proverb. While there is some argument about the origin of the phrase, it is in close keeping with many cultural ideas [...]
Tags: child licensing board, frontier, I need some help up in here, it takes a village, neglect, raising other people's children
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Jun 4, 2009 in
People Are Idiots,
Writing
Stardate June 4, 2009. Day 3 in captivity.
Wait a minute. Is it day three, really? Those hours in the trunk of the Pacer really threw me.
My treatement at the hands of this dastardly duo has been moderately taxing. They tried to feed me a Big Mac, which everyone knows is the most disgusting creation ever [...]
Tags: Fundamental Jelly, gilbert's skink, inadequate food, kidnapping, matching socks, Sick Days, Stockholm syndrome
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 25, 2009 in
People Are Idiots
That’s right folks – the long awaited interview has been granted at last. The reclusive, eccentric Ms. Barely Knit (the appellation she prefers) has agreed to sit down with us in a very posh cafe, provided we foot the bill and bring a couple of bottles of wine, a Chinese parasol, the “Which brand ball [...]
Tags: 18 year old scotch, facebook, facebook quizzes, interview, klein bottle, Ms. Barely Knit, who ordered the medium rare tuna, zombie attacks
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 24, 2009 in
People Are Idiots,
The Soap Box
15%
she tries to get things
out of men
that she can’t get
because she’s not
15% prettier
-Richard Brautigan
Somehow I came across this delightful site the other day, and I sat transfixed while clicking on photos of celebrities before and after Photoshopping them into fantasy land. Just click on Portfolio, then on each photo. When it pops up, it’s retouched [...]
Tags: 15%, beauty, fakery, klein bottle, naked boobs, perefection, Photoshop, Richard Brautigan, shallowness, woowoo
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 20, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments,
People Are Idiots
I have been picked on by some “people” lately about some songs I posted that may or may not be devoid of musical value.
I gotta say, I’m not terribly impressed by someone who feels the need to point out the weaknesses in someone else’s tastes. Intimidated, perhaps, but not impressed.
It’s like saying you love the [...]
Tags: bad songs, music, shame, Therapy Thursday
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 11, 2009 in
People Are Idiots
I dropped my son Ethan at preschool the other day and noticed a sign for their summer camps. Thinking, okay, maybe I can justify sending him for one week so I can get geared up for homeschooling this fall and OMG he will be home ALL. THE. TIME.
Each week has a different theme. The first [...]
Tags: camp, idiocy, kids, piracy, pirates, school, stupidity, why you should have a license to reproduce
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 6, 2009 in
People Are Idiots
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eMlLOqwXjw]
It is Therapy Thursday, after all, and I have bills to pay. All this psychological help isn’t free.
Tags: Lauryn Hill, meaningless blather, naked boobs, old school hits