Posted by Barely Knit Together on Nov 4, 2009 in
Creative Nonfiction,
Embarrassing Moments
For your viewing pleasure, I’m resurrecting some old posts that might have been lost in the literary action. This story is mostly true, and paints me in an odd light. Which is to say, completely accurately.
Years ago, I was invited to a party. I’m not saying it was the last time, but it might have [...]
Tags: socially awkward, what's the opposite of philanthropy
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Oct 25, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments
This is the time of year when a young man’s fancy turns to…mossy oak.
Years ago, when I first returned to the south-ish after a stay in the wilds of North Jersey, I met a fellow we’ll call…aw hell, we’ll call him Ed, because that’s his name. He was a true southern gentleman, but I’m sure [...]
Tags: city girl, Ed Tober, forest, hunting, The South
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Sep 19, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments,
Writing
I just submitted my blog for your analysis the other day, and realized too late I’ve made a grave mistake.
First of all, that damn little box that asks us “who we are” is ridiculously filled with a few sentences that probably have little to do with who I am. I mean, when someone you’ve never [...]
Tags: Ask and ye shall receive, blogging, sucking ass, Writing
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Aug 12, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments
I took my second Zumba class last night. In case you’ve been under a rock for the last three years, as I have, Zumba is an exercise phenomenon based on Latin dance moves. Essentially, for an hour you try to dislodge your hips from that pesky lumbar spine holding it in place, and also, learn [...]
Tags: dancing, exercise, groin mauling, my fat ass, my left foot, showoff women, tourette's syndrome, YMCA, Zumba
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Jul 12, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments,
bad housekeeping
I love to garden. I mean, I love to grow things, I don’t actually enjoy all the hard work. I might be the world’s laziest gardener. But I don’t mind getting dirty, and I adore looking at the little blossoms, watching everything turn all lush and delicious.
And I do like being environmentally responsible and so [...]
Tags: castings, compost, escape from alcatraz, gardening, special delivery, worms
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Jul 7, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments
Well, not my innards, exactly, but those of my purse, are featured over at Sweats Model’s blog.
Warning. Some of my fans have dirty little minds and are wreaking all sorts of havoc in the comment thread.
There, that’s my disclaimer. Now go, enjoy yourselves.
Tags: perverts, purse, squash, Sweats Model
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Jun 15, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments,
bad housekeeping
I’m sure my wonderful husband always wonders why the house never looks any better when he gets home from work than it did when he left it. It often looks worse, but never better.
So I decided to keep track today of what goes down.
0700 Baby B climbs into my bed and cries mommy mommy mommy [...]
Tags: bad housekeeping, corn pudding, housekeeping, my husband is the kindest most tolerant person in the entire universe, time wasters
Posted by Barely Knit Together on May 20, 2009 in
Embarrassing Moments,
People Are Idiots
I have been picked on by some “people” lately about some songs I posted that may or may not be devoid of musical value.
I gotta say, I’m not terribly impressed by someone who feels the need to point out the weaknesses in someone else’s tastes. Intimidated, perhaps, but not impressed.
It’s like saying you love the [...]
Tags: bad songs, music, shame, Therapy Thursday
I love cloth diapers.
I know. What a ridiculous thing to love, right? But if you ask any mama who does it nowadays, she’ll probably tell you the same thing.
Not only are they easy to use (no, really – they are), but they are ridiculously cute! Crazy cute. And who can resist an already adorable tushie [...]
Tags: damn hippies, EC, elimination communication, Motherhood, potty training
Posted by Barely Knit Together on Apr 24, 2009 in
A Bit on the Dark Side,
Embarrassing Moments,
Naughty
What? What’s that you’re saying?
It’s FIBER Friday?
Huh.
Anyhoo, all you moms out there know about multitasking, right? I mean, we think nothing of brushing our teeth while sitting on the toilet and paying bills, or breastfeeding and typing (otherwise, the acronym “nak” wouldn’t exist).
We wash dishes and help with homework while we cook supper and listen [...]
Tags: exercise, fitness, Flirty Girl, Julie, multitasking, weight loss