Dear Ask and Ye Shall Receive,
I just submitted my blog for your analysis the other day, and realized too late I’ve made a grave mistake.
First of all, that damn little box that asks us “who we are” is ridiculously filled with a few sentences that probably have little to do with who I am. I mean, when someone you’ve never met asks you who you are, what do you say?
I’m Jennifer.
I’m in a courageous battle for my mental health.
I have three kids that I’m pretty sure I’m steadily ruining.
I write, I knit, I help women have babies. I’m twisted and dark, and sometimes it accidentally shows. I pretty much do other things so I’ll have stuff to write about.
But see, now I can’t write. I find myself thinking…what will you like? What will my followers think? What if I suck ass?
So do me a favor. Tell me I suck ass. Because I’d like to be free of this albatross and move on to something more lucrative or respectable like pharmaceutical sales, or circus performing.
Thanks for the great service you perform for the blogosphere. Rock on.
-BKT
oh jennifer, i just love you.
that’s all.
Man that’s one sweet comment, Dana. Thank you.
Nope. You neither suck nor smell of ass. Writing is hard and can’t be forced. I enjoy reading your stuff and, I’ll be bold enough to say, I read above an 8th grade level
. I think of you and the flavor of your writing often when I listen to This American Life on NPR.
If you were a mandolinist I would tell you to pick on but, you’re a writer so peck on.
J
This thrills me to no end, Jamie. I often hear Ira Glass’s voice and David Sedaris’s style in my head when I write, so I guess it’s showing that TAL is my dream goal. Or maybe I should get those meds adjusted. Either way, thank you.
You do not suck ass. I would certainly still look into the pharmaceutical sales gig though; but I’m sure you knew that I would say that. You asked our opinion so I’ll give it to you (at least as far as what I want)…
I would love to see more of your creative writing/short stories. I think that you are extremely talented at that and don’t do it nearly enough. YOU may think the first couple attempts suck ass, but put them up anyway for criticism and appraisal. You’ll slip right back into a nice grove! I know I need to start doing more of that again, personally. Maybe we can help each other.
Great advice, Scott. Thank you. I’ve been so lost lately that things have gone downhill here, but I’ve made a firm mental commitment to up my Valium schedule and stick to creative stuff. I had considered doing just that – posting works-in-progress to see what kind of reaction they get. I’m not talking really rough, ugly stuff, though. Just little pieces of good prose that might be enjoyed by others.
I appreciate your suggestion, and yes – how can I encourage you to do the same?
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Message, your comment poem is lovely. I enjoy your skillful brevity, your directness and honesty. It’s rare to find such a thing in my spam folder, so I’m extra grateful. You should probably know that I don’t have a penis, nor am I losing my hair, nor do I need glasses. But hey – whatev.
You don’t suck ass (well except for not visiting my stuff anymore) but I can forgive.
However, please do become a circus performer and write about your experiences here.
Perhaps I’ll make up a story about being a circus performer. It might be the only job I’ve never had. And I do visit your site still, I’m just not very chatty (commenty) anymore. Sorry dear. I still love what you do.
Can you be the woman who rides the motorcyle in the circular cage? That would make my heart warm.
All’s I will say is this: Do it for yourSELF, lady. Write for yourself and the true, quirky, dark stuff that makes you unique will shape your writing. Look at Palaniuk, for God’s sake! Who would look at him and think he writes that disturbing shit? Um yeah- he’s famous.
Write for Yourself. I think your best stuff comes out when you think no one’s looking.
Also, I went to that site, and I think its Bullshit. Bullshit. Just like they said themselves” blogs are personal. So who gives a rip what they (or anyone else) thinks about it. I would never subject myself to their mean comments. I already feel shitty enough about myself, thanks.
I have to confess that if I thought I was really bad I wouldn’t have submitted. However, I’m sure none of those really bad bloggers thought they were bad, so we’ll see. I like them, and I’m just curious. It’s an exercise in putting on the superhero costume, you know?
Yeah, I submitted my blog to them a year or so ago and they tore me to shreds. It was a very humbling experience.
Good luck, i hope they love you xx
I agree. I need to ignore the audience because it’s been screwing me up lately. I can’t make everyone happy, and I get frozen when I even try.
Thank you for the good reminder. And right on re. Palahniuk. Good Lord he’s darker than I am even!
I can’t find the review of yours on that blog, but from what I do read it looks negative in a most edgy way.
I love your writing, it’s touching, well-written, intelligent and nicely blended with humor, honesty and real-life stories. Do what you love and know.
and thanks for letting us all have a glimpse
Thank you for the kind words. They haven’t reviewed me yet. Apparently the waiting list is quite long and it might be many weeks, but that’s okay. Maybe I can forget about them and just write and it will be better for having forgotten. Or maybe I’ll need the Ghost of Freud. We’ll see.
I’ve recently started working with a writing coach. He commented once that most good writers think they’re bad… the ones who say they’re good are the ones who suck ass!!!
Don’t give up on the writing for sure, I enjoy your site so much! Also you are awesome at the helping women have babies thing
or in my case not having babies 
You are such an encouragement because you are so honest! Thank-you for being you and making no apologies for it!
I’ve been reading that site for a while. I think that overall they review fairly (and fairly ruthlessly). What made you decide to submit?
I really have no idea what made me submit, though I do have a submissive temperament in the right circumstances. Part of me really does want them to tell me I suck so I can move on because this is such a bad season of my life for starting a writing career. I’m lucky to get ten straight minutes of writing in between interruptions, plus we just started homeschooling my five year old.
But really, I think it’s because I want them to love me. I want everyone to love me. Didn’t you know?
Thank you, Nurse Myra. I hope so, too, but that’s probably part of my pathology.