People Are Idiots, Part 437
I keep hearing this term “mommy blogger” bandied about lately, and it makes my breasts want to shrivel up and hide. Mommy. Blogger.
And probably many of the writers out there who blog and are moms kind of feel the same way – it sounds so vacuous, like the empty womb my super-sized children vacated.
But apparently, some moms out there are getting some sweet deals on swag from companies who dole out gifts in exchange for write ups. Honestly, is this really news? But it’s giving moms who blog and write reviews a bad name.
I think if someone offered me a stick of gum to write a post, I would politely ignore him. But alas, I’ve only been offered something that will remove odors from my washer. Oh, and jewelry. I turned down that jewelry but damn I really wanted the Smelly Washer stuff.
I’ve turned this over and over in my mind, the idea that I could maybe get some cool free stuff, because seriously – who doesn’t like cool, free stuff? But even if I slap a button on my blog that says “Blog With Integrity,” if I’m shilling goods because I got a freebie, and I don’t tell people explicitly that I got a freebie, I’m a schmuck.
This only comes up because an old friend of mine directed me to this rant on mommy bloggers. Apparently, Loren Feldman and some chick named Jessica Gottlieb got into a tiff because they both believe they are very important. And while I’ve never heard of her, I thought it might be fun to accept my friend’s challenge to stir the pot, and maybe play on Feldman’s playground for a little while. He’s an interesting player, to be sure. But I’d never heard of him before a few weeks ago, because I’m busy. You know, being a mommy.
If excessive anger weren’t one of my character (this word paid for by Nick Jr.) flaws, I would probably find the whole exchange laughable, but instead my stomach (this word paid for by Pepto Bismol) is knotted up and I feel the beginnings of a migraine (this word paid for by Imitrex).
I’m not going to bother reading more from the mommy blogger in question, because her writing and spelling drive me crazy. The smartest things I found on her site were comments from people disagreeing with her.
And I likely will watch more 1938 Media videos because I have a sick sense of humor and Feldman does puppets for adults and I think that kicks ass. But I wouldn’t want his anger directed at me, so I’ll refrain from saying anything untoward about his wife or even his own character, because I don’t know jack about him, really.
What I do know is this: these two people have paid an inordinate amount of attention to one another when you consider how little their lives appear to intersect. It’s all very junior high, and if I wanted to go back to junior high…well, I’d just shoot myself instead and save myself the trouble.
Ultimately, this is just a case of people behaving like – gasp! – people. People are idiots. See? It’s one of my categories.
When I started this blog, it was to practice writing. That’s it – practice. Then I got caught up in the feedback loop, and I love my little tiny fan club – Alan Truitt, Fundamental Jelly, Scott Oglesby, Bob Trusty, Misplaced Musings, B Schooled, Yorksnbeans, Sweats Model, Ram Venkatararam, …alright, maybe it’s not as tiny as I thought.
I’m a mommy. I want to be a writer. Blogging is a convenient forum for honing my craft and getting instant gratification from my small community. This whole hawking products thing and the condescension inherent in the term “mommy blogger” just makes me want to quit the blog and gives me a headache.
Anybody got any Motrin?
I’m totally with you on that whole debacle. And as far as collecting swag to write about stuff, nobody ever offers me any, but i’d probably tick them off by lambasting the product anyway because I’m contrary like that.
Yeah, that would be fun, and since I don’t really like anyone or anything I could pretty much slam any product. Thanks for stopping in! Come for the debacle, stay for the complete destruction of civilization as we know it.
Funny, I joined a website tonight and left a comment about what I write about in my blogs. I said I don’t want to be lumped in with mommy bloggers – motherhood just happens to be the forefront of my life right now. To be honest, I’m sick of the review/giveaway blogs. They’re nothing more than ‘approved’ spam. The term “mommy bloggers” definitely comes off as derogatory, and not a term I want to be associated with – even though I am a mom, and I blog. And try Relpax for migraines, I bet they’ll sponsor more words. If not, they’ll get rid of your migraine faster =)
I used to get all excited when I saw a giveaway that I could really use. But then the list of people would be like 937 people long and I figured it’s like playing the lottery: not worth my time. I understand it can be a good way to attract readers, but if you are writing because that is the goal in itself (which it is for me), then you start to be happy with the little crowd that writing well can draw.
Of course, if I really knew how to play the game I could probably get thousands of readers a day, but I just don’t have the magic formula. And how the hell would I respond to all those comments?
Its like déjà vu. I am sending you some swag. BTW, I never thought of you as a mommy blogger…you always transcended that. Nice.
FJ,
Please make sure it’s good swag, and not some crock of…well, Crocs. Like how about plane tickets to tour the world? Canada, California, Australia, Spain…you get the picture. Oh, and at each stop you have to add an additional ticket. Except I’m pretty sure Scott’s on a no-fly list so we’ll have to all end the journey at his place. He told me he wouldn’t mind. We can squat at his friends’ places. If you can’t swing that, I’ll take a bottle of California wine and a blunt-nosed leopard lizard. Ah, make it two lizards. I understand they disappear at an alarming rate.
People arguing and hating each other can certainly be entertaining. I love a good celebrity feud, but it helps if they are celebrities.
Holy shit, you can get free stuff just by blogging and reviewing? Well then, because I don’t have any integrity or character (because no one bought those words… yet) I’ll offer my review for any of the following, in exchange for free product samples…..
BMW, Rolls Royse, Mercedes, any car over $50k, Rolex, Movado, any watch over $10K, Oxicontin, Vicodan, Percocet, any pharmaceutical, gold, silver, platinum, To…..wait a minute. I thought better. I’ll just name the products that I am UNwilling to sponsor/review. Cleaning products (although I’m ok with maid service), feminine hygiene products, and Smelly Washer stuff. Anything else and I’m open to negotiation!
This is a freaking goldmine! Thanks Love!!
Scott, it does help if they are celebs. Well actually, it wouldn’t help me much because I still probably wouldn’t know who they were. But I might care more.
Nah.
I can’t wait to see what you get! I’m sure someone will offer a well-regarded man like yourself some awesome pharmaceuticals in exchange for one of those empty houses you’ve mentioned. My problem is I just want money. I don’t want more shit, just money so I can do things. In fact, I’m offering swag bags of stuff to people as they walk by my house today, because I’m so sick of all the accoutrements of living. You want books? Take ‘em, I’ve got hundreds. Toys? They’re yours. How about fabric and twist ties, tools and old bank statements? Is there a market for this kind of thing? I’m going to make some kind of craft out of all this garbage and make it famous so people will start looking for the supplies on the web. Then I’ll sell them my stuff – it’s a win/win. Wow, did you see that bunny? So anyway, what was I saying?
Does the term “Pharmaceutical Rep” creep into your thoughts here at all? It sure does mine. I haven’t followed the debate but I’m sure that feels like selling out to someone like you or me. I will say that my friend Jo over at the Modernity Ward did a paid series for “23 and Me,” some genetic testing place, and I don’t know what she “got” for it but she was very frank about what she was doing and still managed to blog like herself and not sell out.
On another note, here’s the best one I’ve seen. Become a blogger for Passion for Birth and win a free childbirth educator training workshop. Yessss.
Yeah. I can think of some reasons why being a pharmaceutical rep wouldn’t be all bad, but none of them are ethical or possibly, technically, “legal.”
All kidding aside, you can’t drop a piece of info like that and not link, friend. Now I have to go google. Thanks for the tip.
And yeah, I forgot to say something. That term offends me, it’s condescending. Just like the other day on FB there was an ad for a stupid game called “Latte Land”- build your own coffee shop that’s not real. And it was touted for MOMMIES ONLY. Like, excuse me, are we f’ing idiots for real, and like we MOMMIES have time to do shit like that. I tagged it offensive for what it was worth. Which is probably nothing.
I think of you more as a blogger who happens to be a mom. Maybe because I think of myself that way too? I don’t know. I have never liked to be put into an arbitrary category. Must be the Oppositional Defiance Disorder.
If someone sent me some free stuff I would frickin LOVE IT! They never do, so problem solved. I would like to believe that I would be honest. If I hated it, I would say it. I have a problem, in general, with filtering, so I would probably blast them if I hated it.
I do, however, mention products, tools, stuff I like. I do not expect anything for it.
Aunt Baaa, I didn’t mean to leave you out! I’m with you on mentioning products I like because I think that’s good advertising -having an unpaid/recompensed person say good things about your product. But everything is suspect now, so it just feels damn icky.
I mean, maybe my readers think I’m getting kickbacks from Starbucks now! No one will like me and my local coffee shop won’t allow me through their doors! Good lord, what have I done?!
Oh stop it! People are either Starbucks people or not. I am not. The coffee just causes no end of trouble with my stomach. People that are going there are going to go there no matter what!
I think that there are ways to endorse things without getting icky. Frankly, I would trust your opinion, just because you seem honest, not because you are being icky and endorsing things.
aww.. dont be giving up on the blogging. Practice or not, its still a great read. (Did Bob pay for your endorsement? ;D )
Like everyone else said, im more inclined to say that you’re a crafty blogger that is a mother and a total badass that was most likely burned as a witch during the dark ages. But thats beside the point.
Free stuff is always nice, but theres always a cost. Integrity is the least of them. But being the corporate b*tch that comes with it is always a laugh (alan truitt : case and point) and you can always get away and pick and choose.
Junior high is our early highschool i think (like, year 7-9 and everyone is in “he said/she said” mode?), which i can understand not getting involved with. While i like my juvenille behaviour on special days of the week (usually laundry day or for me, yesterday), fighting each other like sacks on the net is kind of pointless.
keep at it BKT – Twitter Queen!
-Rick
First let me assure you that Bob deserved my endorsement, even if you forget he sent me those Raffi albums and that crocodile skin bathing suit. He’s just so adorable in a naive-grownup-man-who-lives-with-his-mother-and-doesn’t-recognize-potential-homo-erotic-activity-when-he-sees-it kind of way.
Secondly, every day is laundry day here, so enter at your own risk. I wouldn’t do a day of my life before 30 over again. Youth is overrated. Good to see you, Rick. You’re a doll!
Bobby sure is smitten with you! Tim had to tell him to tone it down a bit! He never told me anything about any Raffi albums or bathing suits. The little scamp gets away with things from under my nose!
As for laundry day (because everyone likes to air their dirty laundry), if its here, im sure i can deal with it. Being that i havent even reached 30 yet, i couldnt tell you if i wanted to live any of it after that
although, i would say that about 25. Anything before that and i was one stupid kid (some would say that not much has changed). Im making more of an effort to post for me, rather than editing everyone elses stuff and passing it along for them (still doing that though.. and getting it horribly horribly wrong). Thought id show my appreciation for your writing (plus, i got the flatmate into reading your stuff too as hes a writer. Casa De Stoyan supports BKT!)
As i said, keep at it, boss!
-Rick
This is the first I’ve heard of swag. I’m sorta new to this here blogosphere insanity (about 4 months now). It sounds, from your description, that some blogs are becoming the equivalent of Reality TV (Reality Blogs, I guess). Since I detest practically all Reality TV, I’ll stay clear of anything that even mildly resembles it here in the blogosphere. As far as freebies, I have been seeing some of that, but I haven’t researched it to see what it’s all about. Like you said, it tends to attract lots of readers, but my goal, if there is one, is just to attain a nice little network of blog buddies who I can joke around with, share thoughts and enjoy the ever flowing stream of creativity. BTW…..I NEED A BODY PART FROM YOU!!
http://yorksnbeans.blogspot.com/2009/07/body-parts-please.html
Also, your writing doesn’t come across as a Mommy Blogger kind of persona, whatever that is anyway. If it did, I’d probably never have left a comment and become one of your fans. Since I don’t have kids, I really can’t relate to that type of thing.
Ooh! I can’t wait to check out what you’re doing with body parts. Sounds dirty. And fun. But dirty, too. Dirty fun. It’s the cat’s pajamas!
I consider it the highest compliment that people who don’t have children like what I say here. Thank you.
PS. does your site have multiple personalities like my logins? everytime i read, its changed layout
. Still, i come for the layout changes, i stay for the pie. And the content. 
-Rick
Well, I was really happy with the one that looked like a desk with a cup of coffee and phone and stuff, and I was even making a custom pic with some of my art and my real phone to put up there, but the theme didn’t have threaded comments so my replies to comments were just tacked on the end of the thread. You can’t have a conversation like that! It’s like a big Italian family just talking all over one another and no one knows who’s talking to whom. And can you pass the antipasto, please?
hah. i know what that means. Im looking for a new design for bobs site and because he doesnt really have any money to get custom designs done (my css is on the greater side of crap), im kind of up the creek on what to do with his comments section short of writing my own stuff for him.
you can keep the antipasto, doesnt do it for me
-Rick
I like this new design.
I never knew mommy blogger got free crap. How come they don’t have free stuff for penis bloggers? Hell, I am with Scott…I’ll take free stuff to review it. Doesn’t mean it has to be a good review.
And haven’t you heard…Ram is no longer around.
Tell you what, Bearman. I’ll write you a free blog post if you’ll make a cartoon about it. How’s that for throwing down the gauntlet? And yes, I know he’s not around now, but he “discovered” me, thus I still have him to thank for all my many adoring fans. It just won’t be the same around here, but I suppose a crotchety old man cussing people will have to do.
Deal!!!! I’ll be anxiously awaiting my assignment.
The nepotism in the blog world though is freaky!!
Great stuff, BKT.
I keep wondering… How would Mr. Feldman’s mommy feel about his tirade? Is she a blogger? Would she be proud? Mortified? Would she have concerns about the video sound quality?
As for Loren and Jessica… Could there be the seeds of love in this wacky relationship? Tune in next week!
Ahhh, Alan, how wonderful to see you! I knew you had a thing for wooden spoons, you pot-stirring type person you. Or was it slotted spoons? Anyway, way to weigh in there, and right before my bed time, dammit. Now I’ll be haunted by dreams of a mommy blogger getting it on with a wrinkly-necked puppet in the back of an antique car.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
After a good night’s sleep with only passing dreams of Bob Trusty puppets and Loren Feldman’s mum, I’m here all refreshed-like to tell you that the Feldmum is probably unaware of what he does. Humorists tend to be people with highly dysfunctional childhoods (I’m speaking from experience here), and draw from these memories to write their material. A smart blogger will keep their aged P’s out of the equation, lest they have to deal with the whole, “How could you say such a thing??” ordeal.
Of course, that could be just me. I have what you might call “skewed perception.” But I like you!
You’re pretty darn swell yourself, sister.
WOWSERS!
everything is so different on this page! LOSTL! I LIKE IT, BKT!
I go away to help mum out and come back to new websites and digible fights! LOSTL!
Mum always says that fighting doesnt solve anything whether its on the internetowebs or anywhere else. We should all just get along and get the job done! HOORAY!
A fine blob writer you are!
Bob
Came at 6:01 EST to test your sitemeter. Was I noticed??
Why yes, and now I know where you live. Wave for the satellites, Bearman! Thanks. I figured out my problem and solved it.
I have three kids and I write a blog. But I don’t talk about them much, I usually just talk about my life and about my love hate relationships with running. I guess I’m a mommy blogger. It’s just one thing I do.
I trade writing for services. I write all about my personal training sessions with a local personal trainer I’ve named Malibu Stacey, and in exchange she makes me lift weights once a week.
I also wrote about getting my hair done by a cute pregnant hair dresser named Rachel who did my hair in exchange for me writing about it. I’ve traded for Pilates classes and sports nutrition classes and all kinds of things that seem relevant to what I’m working on.
This doesn’t seem creepy to me. I’m a writer and I charge for it in the real world. These women I trade with are professionals in their fields and usually charge their clients money. We trade. Do I write positive reviews? Of course. Is this unprofessional? No. I wouldn’t chose to work with icky people I don’t want to write about.
My point is this: it’s okay to write for money. It’s okay to have a sponsored blog, if you do it right. At least I think so. I don’t think it makes my writing less real or authentic.
Love,
@juliejulie, aka Chubby Mommy Running Club
I like your take on this. Interestingly, I’m currently bartering my doula services for website setup services. My new doula site will be live this week, and I got it in exchange for labor support. So I can see where that might work.
I think it has potential to be trouble, though, and I would want it separate, which explains why so many good writers do their review sites as a separate entity. I like your ideas, though. I’m considering hitting up my favorite massage therapist for a barter.
Knock knock, this is a forgotten fan asking to come in! Look at you and this fancy new blog look!!!! It’s been a while since I last commented here, but I still have you in my mind.
Next time I read you I hope you are not so mad at someone [if I got it right].
I’m considering posting an English entry twice a month, then you can come and visit more often. Now, it is not a promise. I’ll think it over…
A big hug!
Ivan, welcome back! It is so good to see you again, and you are certainly not forgotten. But my Portuguese is just not as good as my Spanish, which is even worse than my Latin, so I don’t think I can keep up with you on your blog. I’d love to see some English posts on your site.
And I’m not really mad at anyone, at least, no more so than usual.
I am glad you stopped by. I’ll pay you a visit soon, and do come back.