Flouncing Friday
What? What’s that you’re saying?
It’s FIBER Friday?
Huh.
Anyhoo, all you moms out there know about multitasking, right? I mean, we think nothing of brushing our teeth while sitting on the toilet and paying bills, or breastfeeding and typing (otherwise, the acronym “nak” wouldn’t exist).
We wash dishes and help with homework while we cook supper and listen to NPR’s All Things Considered. Or Pantera. Either way.
But how do you factor in exercising with something else?
My coworker Julie has a plan. She bought this DVD to use as a work out.
It looks like fun. And if I can look like that again (I can’t believe I ever did), it would totally be worth looking like a whore fool to anyone glancing in my HUGE front window. Hell, maybe I’ll sell tickets.
As for the multitasking, Julie figures even if she doesn’t lose weight, at least she’ll know how to give a decent lap dance.
I was going to say EW, but… could you let us know if it works, first? And- I never looked like that.
I do Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease and it is super fun and a serious butt and thigh work out. I might have to try these.
Am I crazy? Or did the “Flouncing” in that “Friday” show up later? Did I miss it the first time? How could I do such a thing? Or did it say something else? And why am I asking these flouncing questions?
Please respond in a rhyming couplet.
Do you have a pole in your living room? And I don’t mean some guy from a country just east of Germany.
Would Joe appreciate a lap dance from you? Maybe if you read excerpts from David Foster Wallace while you do it. I am having a great time just picturing this
Hm. I was thinking of something more like me doing it while standing at my table, listening to Sinead O’Connor do “I am Stretched on Your Grave” while simultaneously making cards.
Joe requires much less, thankfully.
Mmmmm. Sexy.
And here’s an add on just to clarify that I am not coming on to Melissa. Just to be clear. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just…um. Nevermind.
Never a rhyming poet have I been
My words prefer the flow of a stream.
Yet for your inattentive glance
I deign to give it one small chance:
The flouncing Friday title was there and true
when I put it thus before the last night was through.
I schedule posts delayed in time
to prevent mad rushings of the mind.
But here I am, right near the end of day
I should be polishing tomorrow’s essay
but damn this rhyming shit is hard.
For a better example of poetry, go here. Or here.
That’s flouncing awesome!
Have a great weekend.
I’ll say it again.
Good to see you! Your keen insight and sharp delivery have been missed.
Now we pole dance!
I do have a poll in my living room. It asks, what topics would be most likely to draw you to a blog? Clearly, I have the results.
Clearly you do have results, plus or minus five percentage points.