Comments on: The Elephant In the Living Room Part II: Breastefeding and Postpartum Depression http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/ Will write for yarn. Tue, 04 May 2010 06:06:15 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.1 hourly 1 By: Niamh Carter http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-3073 Niamh Carter Sat, 01 May 2010 12:57:29 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-3073 Anxiety and depression is one hell of a nasty disease. even if you have everything but if you have clinical depression, you are still nothing.:"~ Anxiety and depression is one hell of a nasty disease. even if you have everything but if you have clinical depression, you are still nothing.:”~

]]> By: Kim http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-2380 Kim Thu, 03 Dec 2009 21:57:05 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-2380 This is totally off-topic - but, I have a Willoughby too! I've never seen anyone else with that name. Hurray! This is totally off-topic – but, I have a Willoughby too! I’ve never seen anyone else with that name. Hurray!

]]> By: I Lied to My Shrink, and Other Hazards of Breastfeeding | Breastfeeding Moms Unite http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-2105 I Lied to My Shrink, and Other Hazards of Breastfeeding | Breastfeeding Moms Unite Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:34:32 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-2105 [...] To read more about Jennifer’s experience with Post-Partum Depression where she talks about the problem with diagnosing PPD, its symptoms, and “medications used to treat depression, anxiety, irritability, anger, and suicidal ideation, and their place during breastfeeding” you can click here to read The Results Are In: The Elephant in the Living Room Part I and here to read The Elephant in the Living Room Part II. [...] [...] To read more about Jennifer’s experience with Post-Partum Depression where she talks about the problem with diagnosing PPD, its symptoms, and “medications used to treat depression, anxiety, irritability, anger, and suicidal ideation, and their place during breastfeeding” you can click here to read The Results Are In: The Elephant in the Living Room Part I and here to read The Elephant in the Living Room Part II. [...]

]]> By: Alicia http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-404 Alicia Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:47:29 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-404 I just found your blog off of a link from a link and wanted to say hi and nice to meet you. :) As someone who has nursed her 4 kids between 14 months and 3+ years, I really think this is one of those issues where you must listen to your own heart and know that whatever you do is the right choice for you and your little one if it feels right to YOU. I was pressured by my doctor to stop nursing my second child at 22 months because I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and she thought nursing was too hard on my body. I listened, stopped nursing, got my period back after literally years without it (I went from nursing to pregnancy to nursing to pregnancy without resuming it the first time). I got socked with months of the worst PMS of my life, regretted my decision to stop, felt just as weak, and had a sad toddler. For me, it was absolutely the wrong decision, because it wasn't what I had really wanted to do. With my third child, I was feeling touched out and depressed and at 3 he was still wanting to nurse. I couldn't shake my depression and was starting to resent nursing, and knew that it wasn't a positive thing any more. I gently weaned him and went on antidepressants, and that time I did feel that it absolutely was the right decision. Then came baby 4. I have daily migraines and my neurologist has told me to stop nursing so we can try some more meds to try to get them under control. None of the meds the first times ever helped, and I'm not going to stop something that is still a good thing to my little guy (22 months) and me, based on a remote possibility. I don't love migraines, but I've managed with them this long and I don't have a lot of faith in meds after this many failures. This time I can wait it out. You've already given your little one so many benefits (physical and emotional) from nursing. If YOU feel it's time for you to stop, it'll be okay. If not, it's okay too. You're the only expert on what you should do. Whatever you decide with be the right answer as long as it's YOURS. :) Sorry to jabber on so much! I do that! LOL I enjoyed your blog! I just found your blog off of a link from a link and wanted to say hi and nice to meet you. :) As someone who has nursed her 4 kids between 14 months and 3+ years, I really think this is one of those issues where you must listen to your own heart and know that whatever you do is the right choice for you and your little one if it feels right to YOU.

I was pressured by my doctor to stop nursing my second child at 22 months because I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and she thought nursing was too hard on my body. I listened, stopped nursing, got my period back after literally years without it (I went from nursing to pregnancy to nursing to pregnancy without resuming it the first time). I got socked with months of the worst PMS of my life, regretted my decision to stop, felt just as weak, and had a sad toddler. For me, it was absolutely the wrong decision, because it wasn’t what I had really wanted to do.

With my third child, I was feeling touched out and depressed and at 3 he was still wanting to nurse. I couldn’t shake my depression and was starting to resent nursing, and knew that it wasn’t a positive thing any more. I gently weaned him and went on antidepressants, and that time I did feel that it absolutely was the right decision.

Then came baby 4. I have daily migraines and my neurologist has told me to stop nursing so we can try some more meds to try to get them under control. None of the meds the first times ever helped, and I’m not going to stop something that is still a good thing to my little guy (22 months) and me, based on a remote possibility. I don’t love migraines, but I’ve managed with them this long and I don’t have a lot of faith in meds after this many failures. This time I can wait it out.

You’ve already given your little one so many benefits (physical and emotional) from nursing. If YOU feel it’s time for you to stop, it’ll be okay. If not, it’s okay too. You’re the only expert on what you should do. Whatever you decide with be the right answer as long as it’s YOURS. :)

Sorry to jabber on so much! I do that! LOL I enjoyed your blog!

]]> By: Breastfeeding is a feminist issue « Big Green Coat http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-401 Breastfeeding is a feminist issue « Big Green Coat Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:45:19 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-401 [...] to barelyknittogether for the links in her post that stumbled me onto this storm in a [...] [...] to barelyknittogether for the links in her post that stumbled me onto this storm in a [...]

]]> By: biggreencoat http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-402 biggreencoat Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:35:30 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-402 Your reference at the end of your post to the issue of judgement resonated with me. We are all so so desperate to be Good Mothers and good people! it traps us so. I am thinking that, we judge others because we are so desperate to be perfect ourselves. I can't help with the breastfeeding-v-drugs question but I did like your post and I think you set out the issues very clearly Your reference at the end of your post to the issue of judgement resonated with me. We are all so so desperate to be Good Mothers and good people! it traps us so. I am thinking that, we judge others because we are so desperate to be perfect ourselves.

I can’t help with the breastfeeding-v-drugs question but I did like your post and I think you set out the issues very clearly

]]> By: superlagirl http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-403 superlagirl Fri, 20 Mar 2009 12:47:48 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-403 Totally agree about the medication being a crap shoot. The choices aren't as simple as A. breastfeed and suffer or B. wean, medicate, and be happy. I don't know the numbers for PPD, but among the general population with Major Depressive Disorder, the majority of patients do NOT respond in a significant way to SSRIs. There is a very good chance that you could take the medication and still feel lousy. For the symptoms I had, antidepressants alone would not have been the suggested treatment. I was miserable, but I can't say I regret not getting help if help meant a prescription for an antipsychotic. Breastfeeding was a life-saver for me. I wasn't nursing out of some kind of martyr complex. It was simply one of the only positive things I had going for me. Give that up in exchange for a medication that may not help and may also cause intolerable side effects? I'm not sure I see how that would have made me a better parent. Anyway, sorry for the rant. I'm really looking forward to hearing the rest of your story. Totally agree about the medication being a crap shoot. The choices aren’t as simple as A. breastfeed and suffer or B. wean, medicate, and be happy. I don’t know the numbers for PPD, but among the general population with Major Depressive Disorder, the majority of patients do NOT respond in a significant way to SSRIs. There is a very good chance that you could take the medication and still feel lousy.

For the symptoms I had, antidepressants alone would not have been the suggested treatment. I was miserable, but I can’t say I regret not getting help if help meant a prescription for an antipsychotic. Breastfeeding was a life-saver for me. I wasn’t nursing out of some kind of martyr complex. It was simply one of the only positive things I had going for me. Give that up in exchange for a medication that may not help and may also cause intolerable side effects? I’m not sure I see how that would have made me a better parent.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I’m really looking forward to hearing the rest of your story.

]]> By: Jennifer http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-400 Jennifer Wed, 18 Mar 2009 19:19:35 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-400 apologies for my punctuation... apologies for my punctuation…

]]> By: Jennifer http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-399 Jennifer Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:35:34 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-399 To your particular situation my response is that maybe it's time for you to stop being a food source and begin being able to care for your children in other ways that perhaps this medication will allow. I nursed my two eldest until they were each almost three and Willoughby is 17 months and still very much into his nursey-baby, but we are coming to the end of that road. And it will be sad to close up shop at the milking shed, but our relationship (and yours too) will only grow in other ways. It's not as if with weaning a pathway to give and receive love is closed off. Rather, it's an opportunity to develop new ways of being together, new ways of showing love. It's a trite old saying, but it really is true. When a plane goes down, the instructions are to first put the oxygen mask on yourself, then your kids. Sometimes, putting the children first necessitates putting one parent or the other at the top of the list. And it sounds like you need some time up there. Lovingly, Jennifer. To your particular situation my response is that maybe it’s time for you to stop being a food source and begin being able to care for your children in other ways that perhaps this medication will allow.
I nursed my two eldest until they were each almost three and Willoughby is 17 months and still very much into his nursey-baby, but we are coming to the end of that road. And it will be sad to close up shop at the milking shed, but our relationship (and yours too) will only grow in other ways.
It’s not as if with weaning a pathway to give and receive love is closed off. Rather, it’s an opportunity to develop new ways of being together, new ways of showing love.
It’s a trite old saying, but it really is true. When a plane goes down, the instructions are to first put the oxygen mask on yourself, then your kids. Sometimes, putting the children first necessitates putting one parent or the other at the top of the list. And it sounds like you need some time up there.
Lovingly,
Jennifer.

]]> By: marta http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/03/the-elephant-in-the-living-room-part-ii/comment-page-1/#comment-398 marta Wed, 18 Mar 2009 15:41:40 +0000 http://barelyknittogether.com/?p=557#comment-398 thanks so much for sharing all this jennifer. you're very courageous. i'm looking forward to tomorrow's installment. having been on both sides of parenting and depression (i.e. parenting with depression and parenting without depression), i would say that at the very very very top of my personal list of what-makes-marta-a-good-parent is Not Being Depressed. i didn't struggle too much with depression while i was breastfeeding, and my nursing relationship was enormously important to both me and my son (he's adopted, i induced lactation, and we nursed for 3.5 years), so i can't say what i would have done then if faced with weaning/medication or not-weaning/depression. but in retrospect, knowing now what i do about myself, parenting and depression, i would certainly wean, if that were the only option to get myself well. depression is so incredibly debilitating to me as a parent. thanks so much for sharing all this jennifer. you’re very courageous. i’m looking forward to tomorrow’s installment.

having been on both sides of parenting and depression (i.e. parenting with depression and parenting without depression), i would say that at the very very very top of my personal list of what-makes-marta-a-good-parent is Not Being Depressed. i didn’t struggle too much with depression while i was breastfeeding, and my nursing relationship was enormously important to both me and my son (he’s adopted, i induced lactation, and we nursed for 3.5 years), so i can’t say what i would have done then if faced with weaning/medication or not-weaning/depression. but in retrospect, knowing now what i do about myself, parenting and depression, i would certainly wean, if that were the only option to get myself well. depression is so incredibly debilitating to me as a parent.

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