Rant 'n'Roll Will Never Die

Here is the run down of my day:

1. Bread. In the bath tub. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Witness:

I spy a whole wheat, lead-free bath toy (but not gluten-free)

2. See cell phone. See glass of milk. See mom scream. See that it’s too late. I am sure gonna miss my milky, qwerty keyboard phone. This I have no photos of. It’s just too painful.

3. Forward calls to house phone. This requires a call to customer service, which results in idiot-savant Justin (whose name probably really is Justin, since he speaks American English with no discernible accent) quizzing me about the phone number I’m calling from and telling me I am not an authorized user. He hasn’t asked me for my own phone number yet, even though I specifically told him I was not calling from MY phone.

4. Trip to Alltel to have an old phone activated: 30 seconds. Having the call forwarding canceled: 30 MINUTES, and finally – a call to Alltel customer service. While standing in the Alltel store: Priceless. *Sigh.*

5. Then on to Walmart to buy storage bins. You know, the ones with the little signs over them on the shelves that say, “Don’t Forget the Lid!” But which lid? One that fits, perhaps? No! That would be incontheivable (ok, is it i before e except after c except when you are altering the spelling of a word to reference your favorite movie ever?)! Instead, let’s make sure than any bin that’s affordable has no lid anywhere in the vicinity. And the expensive ones? Well, those lids don’t fit.

6. Finally – it’s so late, I go for a cheap and ready pizza. My total? $6.53. This is exactly what he said it was. So I give the guy $10.03 and watch him agonize over it as it lay there, all helpless in his hand, at the mercy of the new math. And then I get back from him – $3.47.

“Um, I gave you three cents.”

“Yeah, but your total was $6.56.”

“If I had known that I would have…nevermind.” And with a thank you and a big, fake smile, I left.

I think I will take a nice, long bread bath tonight. I totally deserve it.